WIN LOSE or DRAW: How Bad Do You Want It!

Sometimes you have to roll up your sleeves and go all the way in! The first question you have to ask yourself is how bad do you want it?

Do you want him or her like your next breath depends on that person?

Let go… and let your heart take over. Do you think that her innocence is worth protecting? Do you think you should be the one to make her day or bring out her best smile?

Ladies do you ever think about his story being written and it doesn’t star you as his leading lady? RING THE ALARM! Set the sprinklers off to stop the show!

Every day we get a chance to give and receive why sit still waiting for love to come to you. If you feel that her past made it hard for her to trust, maybe she talks too much always expressing her thoughts in their purest form. However, she TRUSTED YOU to speak passionately. Those words did nothing more than blow kisses straight your ears.

History has shown that wars have started over the love of a woman!

Ladies, if the man you love is passing time with a woman in a SEMI committed relationship defined as: Nothing really going on besides he is spending majority of his time with her. Vows have not been exchanged and a ring has not been extended.

Does your heart skip a beat TRIPLE TIMES  when you think  about waking up next him? Can you picture the sun rays coming through the window while your wearing his favorite tee shirt or jersey and it looks extra hot on you. Then step up to the plate stand firmly and take your position to knock it out park the next time your around him!

You have a life line that you can use with this man knowing he will most definitely answer when you call, or maybe you spoke a bit too much during that last conversation and he might pause for a second and go as far as calling you right back. The point is your entitled to a next conversation and when it happens bring it all the way full circle.

Now fellas how motivated does she make you? Would you want to ask her for a moment of her time if you seen her out with the guy she is just semi committed to (refer to the definition above) because your taking time getting your life in order and constantly asking for time extensions like your playing a video game!

If she is the woman who catches you eye, takes breath, and makes your mind wander about what she is doing then you already know what to do!

Trust, if she or he wanted to be fully committed rings would have been exchanged and there would not be any room for the slightest bit of conversation.

We all know when the door has firmly sealed and we know when there is a glimmer of light shining through the door!

So Gentlemen put on your amour and TELL her  that no other man can make her smile, provide, or wrap the world up and hand it to her the way you can!  (Chanel Style)

Ladies put on that dress that made him pull you closer every time you moved through the room, and those heels that say no one can wear them better. (sexiest quarterback ever)

Who knows maybe next lifetime you both will be butterflies…

WHY wait when you have this life to make it beautiful just the two.

WIN     LOSE OR          DRAW …  PLAY TO WIN !!!

Self Made: Unleash Your Confidence!

Everyday a star is born!

It’s that simple! You are a beautiful star. The unfortunate reality is that we live in a world where others think that there is not enough room for everyone to shine. The crippling ability for those to believe that everyone stands out forces others to ATTEMPT to bring down your aspirations!

The Allure twist! Mothers often encourage as they should and build self-esteem; however there should also be time built in to discuss when the world tries to peck you to death.

Everyday someone somewhere will have something to say about what you’re doing, what you’re wearing, how well or not well you annunciate your words, who you are with and the list goes on and on here is the best part of all that WHO CARES!

This stage in life just concentrate on being the best YOU that you can offer the world and those who oppose, well THEY ARE OUT!  Just like famous tagline from project runway one moment you’re in the next moment your out!   Shake it off shake off the people and embrace the moment that didn’t go as planned as a learning opportunity. Next time you will be more prepared come back harder and stronger.

 Nurture that inner star you were born to be. The key is that you have to show up arrive with poise, confidence and glow that is naturally around you!

Funny how people are so quick to say oh  this concept is cheesy or FAKE and I heard it all before, but how many people are really walking around and  exuding confidence?

Put your confidence in play. 

Do something that is completely out of your normal routine. Leopard is the new black! Replace your black pump for a leopard pump!  Switch from your clear gloss to a blush pink and abso freakin lutely toss out any jean that does not define the curves in which you were gifted to have or just any jean that doesn’t make you go hmmm I do look good.  

Now don’t go out and be boastful with an expectation of entitlement. Leave the ego’s at home, humble yourself  know that you can be confident and also encourage others to be just as outgoing joyful and gorgeous!

 Be amazing, be in service to others, be ALLUREING and most of all be CONFIDENT! All the while by being YOU!

I’m Not Breaking Up With You! I’m Breaking Up With Your Social Media Addiction!

Did you ever think growing up that you would ever break up with someone because you feel the person you are interested in is more into their social profile page?  

Interesting dynamic of how the world has shifted.

Remember when the biggest issues while dating that might tick you off were things like:

GIVE HER THE DAIL TONE: The Ex is still calling and he is still picking up!  Simple fix: If you do not parent children together or in the process of eliminating bills once created together etc… There is no purpose for the constant communication… CLICK!

DO YOU ENJOY YOUR EYE SIGHT: The FIVE second glance at another woman. Thats all you get.  We all know men are visual but let’s not go crazy past a five seconds we give as courtesy glance! DX: He always had the wondering eye… and you had to let that go.

Those were things you were aware of! Now there are no LIMITS with social media in the picture… Those were on a small-scale based on the issues that now present themselves via Facebook and twitter. The half-naked pictures, the past loves that have access to find you, the infamous inbox messaging! Without trust in this social age you’re headed towards the social media break up! Ways to prevent the break-up are:

Set a few parameters (you know the word boundaries will send a man right over a cliff and stop listening immediately)

NO TEXTING DURING DINNER: Seriously! texting while trying to enjoy dinner with someone is a huge turn off! You could enjoy dining with anyone and a lovely woman decided to enjoy dinner with you, SIR if you don’t turn that phone off while you are eating with her that may be your last meal with her!!!

PRIVATE HOURS! There are only so many hours in a day. Men you already have to dedicate so many towards work, another for health and fitness, another for your private thoughts, and some for those you deem of importance! Those hours set aside for people IMPORTANT TO YOU should not be interrupted! Set hours aside based on when you and the people of true value are available  and place DO NOT DISTRUB on your phone! Whatever it is will wait, because what is most important has your focus!

Let IT GO!! LET go of the I-PHONE let go of the DRIOD and let go of the BLACKBERRY! Release the strong hold you have over looking at pictures of food, shoes, clothing ideas, and someone trying on new glasses or some random of zero importance thought that popped in someone’s head that you feel compelled that you must click like or their little world may come crumbling down! LIG it PLEASE! It is not that serious! Focus on something that is of importance like what you really need to be doing beside being on a social media site!

These matters seem small but they are so very significant when people do not know when stop allowing people into their PERSONAL MOMENTS and people do not know when to censor themselves from being drawn into other people’s lives!

A person in this age that can discern when there is a time to be private and time to allow others in is a GEM a rare find! Everything is not for all eyes to see, and every thought is not for all to hear!

Unfortunately, the social media break-up is often a new form of discussion because men just as well as woman in this era cannot seem to figure out when is it a good time to close the curtains each day on their personal lives!

So gentlemen when you have been texting all the way through dinner, or delaying conversation because of a Facebook, twitter post do not act surprised when you start feeling like New Edition .. Mister telephone man there’s something wrong with my line when I dial my babies number I get a CLICK every time…

 Nothing is wrong with her line!! TRUST SHE HAS CHANGED HER MIND…  CLICK … “LIKE” NOW … LOL!!!!

 

Do You Have A Happiness Blueprint: Design Your Dynasty *(gentlemen you can do this too!)*

Before a Dynasty is built a blueprint is constructed, before you have complete happiness you have to know what that looks like to you!

The Allure twist not your mother’s conversation typically our mothers wanted for us to have a husband a dog and a white picket fence! Here is the thing that is a great way to speak to a child at the age of five. The seed planted in order to create the vision or blueprint in the malleable mind.

As we progress into adulthood we begin to understand why it is important to know exactly what you want.

Have you ever dated a guy and thought he was exactly what you wanted and a couple days or months later you’re with your ladies saying what I was thinking?

 Just nick picking him apart. Is that because when you just bumped into this guy you did not think about your mental checklist even the small things. Is there any such thing as small when you it pertains to your happiness? Did you even have a checklist?

Who do you want in control of your dynasty? Not everything is for everybody.

You need to DESIGN ON PAPER YOUR HAPPINESS BLUEPRINT down to the length of his fingertips to the sole of his shoes.

You may be a woman who can deal with a man that has sport length finger nails, however that may creep another woman out! What kind of woman are you? more of the short length almost numb nail female.. If so, write that down…

Another thing shoes!  As stated before they are important to women in preceding blogs and the shoes a man wears for different occasions says something about him! Maybe you’re a woman who can deal with Kenneth Cole being worn for work, dinner with you, out with friends, and to a sporting event… Yeah no not so much… If you’re a woman that has different sides she may want a man to switch it up a bit… Those Kenneth Coles do not go well with those Isabel Marant wedge sneakers hanging out on the weekends.

Maybe you’re a woman during the week you might J.Crew it up, banana republic, The Limited, keeping it classy yet modern trendy for the work week, but on the weekend you want to let your hair down a baby tee some Victoria secret sweat pants changing gears. You might need a man with the same versatility…

When it comes to your ultimate happiness and the creation of your Dynasty trust me it’s okay to sweat the small stuff! You Only Get One Shot!!

Outside the grooming, the fashion, does he keep his car clean, and does he come over looking for things that might be broken so that he can be your knight and shining amour while he is there?  

You need to determine what do you want his mental to be capable of handling?

This is Muy IMPORTANTE!

Do you want a man that if it’s not sunny is he complaining or do you want someone who through the storm can see the silver lining.

In life we come across valleys and peeks when something does not go as planned does he brushes it off. As if it doesn’t matter or do you want someone that is not only solving the problem, but ensuring  the solution prevents the same problem from reoccurring in his life.

Maybe you’re a woman of great RISK and you like to live on the edge of not knowing if your lights will be turned on when you get home every day. Then you may love the reactive man versus the PROACTIVE man… There is someone for everyone. However, if you are somewhat of a planner and you set goals that are determined by completing some type of strategy then you are going to have to focus and write down in plain ( insert your name) terms as to what your Dynasty, and happiness will look like clearly defined..

To get you started: Grab a notebook, pen, a glass of wine (optional) turn on your favorite music, clear your mind…

Ask yourself what as a woman can you deal with? Can you deal with stress that a man can’t handle, and is placed on you to pick up the slack? Or do you expect him to step up another level and deal with life for not only himself but for you as well? Do you want a provider? Do you want to be adored? It is okay ladies to sit down cross your legs  sit up straight shoulders back and look very delicate, even a rose has thorns for protection in their natural surroundings as do we, however let’s remember our place in nature is to be who we truly are! Beautiful delicate creatures!

Now As you listen to music and allow your mind to let your pen flow freely with your thoughts. Can you see him clearly? Don’t cheat yourself treat yourself. Does he look like Justin Timberlake and Jay Z suit and Tie…?  You owe it to yourself not to settle, but first you have to identify your worth, then you will not fall for anything that you feel you have to settle for. 

If the man that you are currently seeing is not anything like the vibe in your mind created on notebook paper chances are you’re not living your best life!

 Share your feelings your thoughts your ideas your hopes your dreams if your companion is not with you 100% then honey let him do his thing and slide out and do your thing! 

And when you meet the man of your dreams that you wrote down on paper he will show up and illuminate the room and the love in his life.  His dreams include you. Love is a slow process and the essence of knowing who you are makes the perfect marriage. 

Happiness is our entire pursuit, however you will always swim against the current never gaining much ground if you do not know  exactly what you stand for and what you  stand against!

                  SO LIVE IT TO THE LIMIT AND LOVE IT ALOT!

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You Are What They Say You Are: A Superstar

If you are what anyone says that you are then you are a superstar. Trust your feeling.  Why would you ever think that you are less than glamorous?

If you do nothing after reading this blog look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are fabulous!  Why be with anyone that does not reinforce that you are the most beautiful desirable person who has entered their life. If they don’t know they better ask somebody.

Let’s just stroll through the day of your celebrity life…

Put Your Freak’em Dress On:  Step One !! Shut it Down

Rock your Shades AT NIGHT:  The camera is always on! Choose to see those you need to be a part of your life. Those who need to see who you really are will around when you take your sunglasses off.

Everything Stops When You Walk In:  When you are invited to a party you always are on the special guest list you are the only one they see. Tonight is the night and when enter the party starts. You are the illumination while you are still rocking those shades  and your stilettos you are treating the night  like a fling, by the time you leave they will try to get your number all night long.

Lights camera Action….Pose for camera you hear them screaming the cameras are rolling and they so addicted to your every move.

Welcome to Hollywood  Your Moment is Now

Give’em something to talk about. Each day make a positive change inward that will reflect outward! You are the change in the world that is waiting to burst out! Its all begins with a start in the morning. A smile a glimpse inward of what you want to project.  In the mirror standing there that is you dressing room lights providing the perfect reflections as you get ready for the day. Create the best you that you want the world and the paparazzi to capture!

 

ALL THE WORLD IS A STAGE!

Money Does Not Buy Love, Pour Yourself a Double, or Let it Relieve Your Stress

Money does not buy you love but it can get you through a lot of situations.

Ladies some of us while young thought we wore capes  and thought all you needed was a suitcase, a dream and love and you would be okay! The American way…

Absolutely not a little secret that all little girls need to keep near and close to their hearts is that well the only factor should not be based on money, but it should be in your top five MUST HAVE.. NEVER OPTIONAL or we can grow together.

Realistically, you don’t always strike gold every time you date someone so with that being the case at least date someone where you can increase  have your love hang over reserves. Bentley call the car around the jet is waiting, okay well set the girls vacation fund aside might need an umbrella drink and cute cabana boy to get you through.

So how do you do that? Don’t ever date a guy that does not pay for all meals. This is a hunters game may the fittest survive and may the man that understands how to stand means NO SHORTCUTS wins!

It is a nice gesture for us to offer to pick up the bill at moderately priced establishment or event; however this is not to be put in practice.

Not sure what is going on with these new men and why they think it’s so easy that request women to pay for the bill EVER. Ummm Absolutely not Sir, oh can we even call you SIR after a plea for my finances… questionable Boss hmmm questionable

If your slightly confused just a few tunes to help you get it right!

T.I whatever you want

Jayz Excuse Miss

Money won’t buy you love but it will help speed the process along… *wink

 

 

The Art of Seduction: Does It Strengthen The Relationship?

The art of seduction,  does it strengthen the relationship?

Now that’s a pretty way of packaging when a guy suggests that the bond between man and woman is strengthened through physical connection.

A survey from Allure men readers and thank you to all those who provided feedback showed the following results:

Question: Do you believe that while dating a woman you should be intimate? If so, do you believe it will strengthen your relationship?

Top Responses :

1. Yes, and it takes the relationship to a higher level of interest for that female.
2. No, if the female wants to wait I can wait her out if she has all the other qualities I am looking for.
3. Yes, we are not children if we have a great relationship we should be able to be intimate and continue to grow with each other.
4. Yes, if she wants to be with me that is one of the deciding factors if she and I can connect on that level.

The Allure Twist: NOT YOUR MOTHERS CONVERSATION. 

Mothers warn daughters  about guys who try to sweet talk on the first date or after a few dates, and the one night stand. However based on the responses who graciously provided their male perspective there are more subjects to tackle than just those.

The “Gentlemen” Charm: The modern bachelor that is fully aware that a woman does not want to come across as loose by starting an intimate relationship with a man she barely knows.  The gentlemen will use his alluring masculine characteristics by listening to her, and engaging her in conversations that are heavily rooted in the “positive” aspects of having an intimate relationship with a great man while still just in the dating phase. This will be a reoccurring topic every time the lights dim or until she caves into his charming eloquent illustrations of the benefits of how wonderful it will be.

The “Waiting” Gamer:  This modern man seems to have the patience of Job while dating a woman. He appears to be understanding and not at all pressuring the woman of his interest to have an intimate relationship. However, although months have gone by and his presumably respectfulness towards “waiting” has been all but a game, because while he is patient with you he is gaming another woman.

The “Playboy” :  He is so chill and cool you could just be hanging out and having a great time than ” Bam” So we been hanging out for sometime I’m attracted to you and your attracted me then the lean in…. The Playboy is just that playful in his approach with getting you to a comfortable unsuspecting “yes” to being intimate.

Fellas,  these approaches are flawed! What is the big deal with just waiting instead of going through the process getting women comfortable with  pre-marital sex why not just be more selective with the women you are thinking about starting a relationship with.

Let’s say you try the Allure way and skip all the but baby really its still respectful, and us having to laugh respectfully and say it’s not, but flattered just the same, because we are into you DUH!!

Choose to be committed, hands down women love exclusive handbags, one of a kind shoes, personalized gifts, and custom fit clothing. NOTICE A TREND we like our MEN EXCULSIVE, A ONE woman man, a personal relationship shared between us two, and you have customizing to our fit!  That is the art of seduction….

A Trophy is to a Champion As A Queen is To A King: A Trophy represents A Victory- A Queen ensures survival. Which are You?

The classic movie “Coming To America” has a scene where Prince Akeem is about to marry by way of a prearranged wedding.  As a man wanting to learn a little more about the mind of his potential wife. He stops the wedding for a moment and invites her to private quarters to have a conversation. During this conversation Prince Akeem begins to ask her questions such as what do you like to do. Her response SIMPLE “whatever you like”… He continues to ask her a few basic questions and her response remains” whatever you like”.  The conversation goes on until Akeem decides that this beautiful woman is way too easy and then begins to have fun.  Akeem asks her to bark like a dog and she barks like a dog then he requests that she hops on one foot then she hops on one foot, at this moment he just starts laughing. Akeem realizes that although this woman is beautiful and willing to do as he wishes that he will need much more as he progresses to a King.  Understanding the importance that he needs a Queen beside his thrown he starts his quest to find more than beauty “The Trophy” in this case in the end Akeem marries a Queen that is not only beautiful, intelligent, seemingly humble she loves his character  the rest was extra.

The Allure twist NOT YOUR MOTHERS CONVERSATION:  Mothers often concentrate many days buying cloths, styling hair making sure their little lady is perfect.  Reminding  them to cross their  legs when sitting, watch the deflection of your voice and like the weekend says” make them remember you”

A few distinct differences to determine if you are a Trophy to a champion as what a Queen is to a King are…..

The Trophy:

As a Trophy you have access to all the frills and thrills that will continue to make you visually appealing, and most of your conversation will be with your girlfriends. Your girlfriends are the ones who you will vent to while you create all the cocktail dates, shopping outings, coffee chats, spa getaways  and  they will know more about who you are than your champion.  Your champion could be out setting the score to win again, however will you still be the prize trophy after the next win?

The distance between a Trophy and the champion is great a trophy sits on the shelf although connected through beauty, ego, pride and boastfulness. The Trophy is flawlessly beautiful when need to be shown to detail of the victory once achieved , however the Trophy always finds its way back on the shelf until required to make an appearance again when needed to show a champions accomplishments.

The Queen:

As a Queen you have access to all the frills, thrills, credit cards, shopping sprees and the most important details his thoughts!  A Queen not only is beautiful she has the ability to cultivate her surroundings and guide her King through their journey together. As they walk together she has the full understanding of what his and her needs are together and how to preserve success.

The distance between a Queen and King is nonexistent she sits next to him and her value and opinion is not shelved. Not only is she beautiful but she encompasses the qualities of a lady that are rare in an era where you are not measured past what’s in the rear view when you pass by.

she is so for real she has the remedy for your body mind and spirit she will have you rushing right home to cure what ever is  and you won’t be able to get enough!

Men we understand that it’s always easier to choose what is visually appealing vs. beauty and brains. Don’t worry we will call you on your shii, however it will only polish and perfect your character. Some of us like feeling that every time we are complemented by other men in a room with you it  is sometimes because the relationship is well respected and acknowledged by others that WE perfected it TOGETHER!…….

Like a Virgin: Her Hair That Is!

Allure is affectionately based out of Atlanta! A beautiful city. Driving down the city streets of Atlanta there are so many billboards advertising Virgin and Malaysian Hair and eye lashes. We are innundated with how to become the best plastic you money can buy.

Completely confused by the wide-spread need to have hair that is Farrah Fawcett length and styled. The trend is starting to affect girlfriends and their identity. Have you ever noticed two best friends have the exact same length weave style and maybe a slight difference in color? That is a no no! Now because Allure is here to have those conversations that your mother did not have with you or simply provoke that thing to make you go hmmm… here is the Allure Twist on weaves that you and your best friend have..

You and your beastie should not look identical if you have a man. None of these are proven facts but let’s be honest. The man who you’re seeing is a visual creature, hopefully when the two of you met the clone “best friend” was not around.  He was attracted to your outer appearance then the rest of you packaged the deal up nicely.

He meets the best friend you share  like qualities because the two of you hang together so much.  Again, MEN ARE VISUAL CREATURES.  HE notices the Hair is the exact same, personality is similar, probably have similar characteristics. Notice the problem to many similarities that end up on a couch on Jerry Springer with your girlfriend in your face talking about when you walked out of the room he came on to me!

I wonder why, he probably blacked out and thought she was you. Well that’s the story they go with on the show…

Although that example hopefully is a little dated in 2012 it drives the point home to say create your own identity.

If you and your crew look very similar its time to diversify, maybe it starts with you to the break the mold.  The same logic is applied to when everyone in a circle comes up with the same solution to solve a problem the circle needs to be expanded or you may need to leave that group.

The point of this blog is that weave has become the new normal for women to have artificial hair outside the movie screen. Some of us women want to believe that through the entire weave and eye lashes that men are still looking for real women.  

Not to say that women who wear weave OR eye lashes are not real! It’s understood we like to change-up our looks from time to time and hair does the trick, however let’s sometimes just try a new hair style, a new hair color, but let’s remember us first.

Keep it funky, Keep it Nu Nu, keep it fly and keep them coming back!

 The ad below however is a fact you can Layway weave… comical!!!